My name is xxx. I was born in Kaohsiung Country in 1981. My individuality is active and extroverted. I am an architectural interior surveyor. I always like to cook some delicious foods with my family and girlfriend in my free time. There are five people in my family. My father is a businessman. He is conscientious about his job in one sense, and I was affected by my father. My mother is a dressmaker. She is good at making any kinds of good dresses. I have an older brother, who is a tindal. My older sister is a teacher, who works in a cram school. We always have a family reunion and eat at home every Sunday. I am very fortunate to have grown up in a harmonious family.
I used to be a chef for half a year before I joined the army. During the soldiering, I did some cook service for the other soldiers for almost one year. When I demobilized, I was still being a chef for half a year. However, it is not my favorite job. I found my interesting is architectural interior survey engineering. It is more divertive than cooking. I have been working in an architectural interior design company for two years. That̉̉ s why I am attractive by architectural interior survey engineering at present. As an architectural interior surveyor, I have a lot of practical survey experiences. For instance, some survey assignments in High- speed railway, Rapid transit and at sea survey. I used to do a level survey in Taichung Harbor. There were thirteen clansmen in our survey team. We separated it into two groups. One was Chinese Steel team, and the other one was Rapid transit team. There was also a headman who would boss our team about and two cartographers who drew some charts for us. This was a special and unforgettable experience for me.
My formal major is Architectural at Cheng Shiu University now. During the four years, I will focus on academically study. It is now my aim to advance my professional knowledge in quality control, excel and autocad. I also plan to get the architectural interior survey license as soon as possible. It must be an arduous task for me but I will affront it. I think to be an architectural interior survey engineer will not be a dream for me. After graduated, I plan to get a stable architectural interior survey job. I will get married with my girlfriend. We plan to have a baby. It is important for me to get enough money to keep my family. If I get plenty bankroll I will invest a chafing dish restaurant. Because having a chafing dish restaurant is my second dream. I'm confident about being successful in the future. I will face those challenges and won't abandon anything bad in my life.

謝謝大家的用心喔!經過我的努力與奮鬥我終於寫好了!謝謝大家喔!

大部份寫的不錯，除了少許地方可以修改一下，會更好。

I always like to cook some delicious foods with my family and girlfriend in my free time

→→ I always like to cook some delicious food for my family and girlfriend in my

spare time.(這句中文之意就是閒暇之餘，我為家人與女友整上一桌讓大家大塊朵頤一番。而上一句是有空

之時，與大家整上一桌，共享盛宴，與你的原文不同)

He is conscientious about his job in one sense

→→中文：在某種意義上而言，他工作負責盡職。易言之，有時盡責，有時可能??

改為→→He is conscientious about his work devotedly(或是single-mindedly)

或是→→He is conscientious about his work with all his might.(傾全力努力工作)

and at sea survey

→→and at-sea survey 或是 and sea survey

I used to do level survey(水準測量)

→→leveling survey

There were thirteen clansmen in our survey team

→→There were 13 associates (members)in our survey team .

clansmen是表示家庭成員或是家族成員，如按上面的寫法就表示這13人皆有親戚關係。

This was a special and unforgettable experience for me

→→This is a special and unforgettable experience for me.現在式比較符合情境

It is now my aim to advance my professional knowledge in quality control, excel and autocad

→→It is now my aim to advance my professional skills in quality control, labour security,

autocad training, and working licence.

I think to be an architectural interior survey engineer will not be a dream for me

→→I don't think it will be a dream (for me) to be an architectural interior survey engineer.

If I get plenty bankroll I

→→If I got plenty of bankroll, I would．．．

Because having a chafing dish restaurant is my second dream

→→To have(run) a chafing dish restaurant is my second dream.表示未來的願望，不能用動名詞來

當主詞。

I'm confident about being successful in the future

→→I'm confident in my future life.或是

→→I'm confident of doing well in the future.

won't abandon anything bad in my life

→→中文之意：不會放棄我生命中任何的壞事

→→won't abandon my sweet dream in my life.